Diamonds Aren’t Forever

As luck would have it Scott finally got a job as a bartender in a quiet bar owned by a tenured law Professor. James hung out at the empty bar during the day, drinking banana daiquiris.

“I can’t give you much of a guarantee I’m afraid. It’s looking likely that this bar won’t even exist in a month from now.” said the professor, cleaning the bar from all the smashed banana and orange fur James had left behind when he went to the bathroom.

“How come? It seems like a decent place–just needs some customers.”

“There’s a law firm upstairs – Macmillan & Associates – that wants to shut down the bar and turn it into office space!”

“Well, just say no to them!”

James returned from the bathroom.

“That would be fine if I had some money, but If we don’t get some customers in here soon, I’ll be kicked out by the landlord for not paying the rent.”

James covered his eyes.

“How much do you owe?”

“$60,000 – you don’t know any rich kids with that sort of money do you?”

Scott laughed nervously. “Afraid not”

Just then, Mac Jr, son of Macmillan and a rising star at the law firm entered the bar.

“Hey, Professor – you’re serving animals in here now? That’s low, even for you old woman.”

The Professor said nothing, but James was agitated.

Scott turned to face Mac Jr. “Hey man… that animal happens to be one clever ape.”

“Oh yeah? Why doesn’t he ask the old lady here to enroll him in law school then? After all, law school is for the real elite – the chosen few. Tell you what Einstein – the day this ape graduates law school – I’ll buy you your stupid bar back!”

Scott looked at James. He pointed at him, James pointed back.

“Challenge accepted!” shouted Scott.

Mac Jr. laughed and turned to leave the bar. “We’ll see, we’ll see!”

“Jeez, what an asshole!” said Scott.

“He’s one of the nicer ones…” said the professor, “Well, James… you’d best get an early night. Class is at 8am tomorrow.”

James covered his eyes.